Whom does the artist actually paint?

An artist is first and foremost a person, and considering his features is based on universal human characteristics. People are a fairly human-centered species, that is, people are primarily interested in people, as I understand it, this is connected with almost any kind of living creatures that are oriented toward predominant intraspecific interaction for survival and reproduction. Animals, birds, rocks – all this can also attract the attention of the artist and become the object of his picture. But I think that in fact what we see is:
  • projection of the author, his essence and subconscious on a canvas,
  • our projection of its projection onto ourselves and our essence.
That is, the viewer does not see the same thing that the author sees in the picture, I believe that the author sees only himself and his inner world, and the viewer sees the artistic derivative, the second derivative of the essence of the author, endowed with its own meaning and value. In all my paintings, I clearly see myself, even if I draw a dog poop. Trying to remove themselves from the result of their work, it seems that some artists are moving to an alienated art in which the will of chance and the “naked technique” prevail over the personal (Pollock or robotic art – artificial intelligence). Even if I do an exercise or draw something without emotional involvement, but for developing a skill, as a result, I still see my reflection. My paintings look at me with a familiar look, I recognize myself in them, my feelings, thoughts, aspirations, fears and addictions. My paintings are me. I feel that I seem not to be able to make them anything other than what they are. I can only do them or not. But if I make them, I just get a piece of myself out, copy what already exists in me, but not in the form of a material object, but in the form of something known only to me alone. It’s scary to show yourself to the world. Criticism hurts. Acceptance ascends to heaven. You show yourself to other people, and they are free to destroy you or save you. What will they do to me?

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