On my birthday I saw it

Lilac in May, 2016
If you try to remember what you saw on your birthday, sometimes it seems that this is not possible. Once walking through the park, I came across a beautiful tree. It was large and in the leaves. I would really like to see this tree first when I was born. Then I would probably give more chances to this world. But somewhere deep down I understood that this is the first time I see this tree right now, with it I have no memories. And I went on to walk in the park. Sometimes we see something beautiful, and so we want to have a connection with it. But if there is no connection, then you can’t make it up. You can fool yourself forever, you can fool everyone around, but if you know the true answer to the question – is this your tree? – then there is no chance to get away from the answer. I was sad, because I walked alone, with a camera in my hands, I took pictures of beautiful leaves and other nature. Photographed the sky, shining through the leaves. I did not want to return home. When it began to get dark, I decided to return, especially since I had to start preparing for the exams. I carried a heavy SLR filled with photo frames. I looked at my park, where I was walking as a child. People and dogs crossed him up and down. The mighty trees grew in planted circles and lines along the alleys. My hair developed in the wind, and I did not feel any connection with this beautiful reality. I went to the house and saw a row of lilac bushes, some already bloomed, others still dozing. The bushes were loosely planted, through them the ragged wall of the high-rise building was visible. Many years later, I made this picture, and suddenly I realized that it was this lilac that I saw on my birthday. The painting “Lilac in May” was created in 2016, it was one of my first works. I used the technique that I invented along the way, I played with paints, stroked the canvas with a brush to make my lilac live and talk to her. The picture turned out quickly and well, I had no doubt at every point. And now I see my lilac exactly the same as on my birthday, only that lilac has already bloomed a long time ago, and the bush was cut down many years ago. And this one will remain here even when there will be neither him, nor me, nor you.

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